Everyone was screaming, "RUN!" I was doing everything I could to get my 10 year old roly-poly body to move as fast as it could. I was running from 3rd base to Home plate. The outfielder from the other team was throwing the ball home. I just had to beat the ball. I heard my Daddy yell, "GET DOWN! SLIDE!" Intensity filled me up inside, and I ran as fast as I could and slid (or more like crashed) into Home plate. Lying on my back with the catcher holding the ball the entire ballpark fell silent as the Umpire yelled, "SAFE." Woo Hoo!!! An uproar came from the stands, and I had a huge smile on my face. I made it Home safe. I scored for my team.
I have a really awesome Dad whom I call "Daddy". I don't call him "Pops", "Dad", "Pa", or "Father"...I am 27 years old, and I still call him "Daddy". There have been many times in my life that I had no clue what he was doing or why I had to do something, but he always had a purpose(well most of the time). My Daddy took my brother, my sister and I out in the front yard one Saturday. He laid down a blue tarp and got out the water hose. My Mama was smart enough to grab the video camera. The purpose of the day...He was going to teach us how to slide.
My siblings and I had to take turns running as fast as we could and then sliding into this blue tarp. There were many times that my sister and I would just keep running passing the tarp because we were too afraid to slide. Then there were times where we would run, stop at the blue tarp and just sit down really fast instead of sliding. I don't know why, but I have a fear of throwing myself down on the ground...others call it sliding. My brother was a natural and loved every minute of it, but I am pretty sure this is what my sister and I were thinking..."Why do we have to do this? I just want to go inside and play. This hurts. I'm getting dirty. UGH!" My Daddy took the time to teach us how to slide. He even gave us an example by sliding on the tarp himself. No matter how scared I was or ready to go in, my Daddy made me learn how to slide (the best I could) because he knew that one day I would need it. Why did he torture me? Because he loves me.
I go through periods of my life where I start treating God like a College Professor. I feel like I am in an auditorium of 500 students and there is a professor barking orders and giving out assignments. Sometimes the Professor is funny and cool, and other times he is really strict. When I get an "A" on an assignment, I am very thankful. When I miss an assignment or fail an assignment, I beg and plead for extra credit. Or sometimes I give every excuse I can hoping the Professor will change my grade. I have been feeling like this off and on for about 3 years now. I felt God calling me to be a Special Education Teacher, but nothing I did was working. I felt like God (The Professor) was closing every door that I tried to open. He kept failing me. I got mad at Him so many times. I kept saying, "Why are you putting me through this?" I tried everything and nothing was working.
Last night, I went to my Belmont Orientation. I sat through 2 hours of exciting information about the program I will begin soon. It hit me. I will be teaching Special Education in the fall, and earning my Masters. Out of all the programs I have applied for, this program is by far the best. I will be earning my Masters pretty much for FREE. After the orientation, I started the long walk to my car thanking God the whole time for this opportunity. "Professor, I am beginning to pass this assignment." I got in my car and when I started the engine, the radio was blaring, "Oh How He love us so, oh how He loves, How He loves us so." This is such a powerful song. My eyes began to tear up as soon as I heard the words.
God is NOT a College Professor. Sometimes I forget that God loves me. After 3 years of going through struggles of ups and downs, sometimes it would slip my mind that God loves me. When this song came on in the car I felt God saying, "Dana, I did not just give you extra credit. I am giving you this opportunity because I care about you and I love you. You are my child." It does take work to keep a relationship going, but I've been letting my relationship with God become work. So, whenever you're going through struggles, try not to forget the most important thing. God IS love, and He loves YOU. So remember this the next time you ask, "God, Why are you torturing me?" Because He loves you.
To hear this powerful song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FxaUYjRtkc&feature=related
